


Personal Questions (Gandalf)

by kathkin



Series: A Few Notes in the Song of Creation (a Lord of the Rings Dæmon AU) [9]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-19 01:24:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14863994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathkin/pseuds/kathkin
Summary: “I rarely get lonely. I find myself very entertaining company.” / Pippin screwed up his face. He couldn’t imagine what that was like, to keep yourself company without a dæmon.





	Personal Questions (Gandalf)

**Author's Note:**

> a) Wikipedia on [dæmons](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%A6mon_\(His_Dark_Materials\)).
> 
> b) [Ground rules for this AU](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/174266827343/ground-rules-for-d%C3%A6mon-au).
> 
> c) See end notes for dæmon key!

“Can I ask you a personal question?” said Pippin.

“I sense you’re going to ask no matter what I say,” said Gandalf.

They sat in the only patch of light in the caverns of Moria, a puddle of white around Gandalf’s staff. Nearby, the rest of the company were settling down to rest after the march. Boromir paced, preparing to take the first watch, Faist alert by his side with twitching tail.

“Do you get lonely?” said Pippin.

“You ought to be resting,” said Gandalf.

“But do you?” said Pippin. “I mean, not having a –”

“I know what you meant,” said Gandalf. “And you’re hardly the first to ask.”

Windflower was in Pippin’s lap, stretched out in the shape of a fat, long-eared rabbit. It was her favourite sleep-shape but Pippin refused to take the hint. He didn’t want to go to sleep, yet.

“I’ve been thinking about it since last night,” said Pippin. “I couldn’t bear to be all alone in this place if I didn’t have Windflower – not for a moment. And you sat up all night. Wasn’t it lonely?”

Gandalf said nothing. His face was very stern, and he did not look at Pippin. Pippin drew Windflower closer, scratching her absently behind the ears. “You don’t have to answer,” he said. “I was only wondering.”

For a few moments longer Gandalf was quiet. Then, softening, he said, “I rarely get lonely. I find myself very entertaining company.”

Pippin screwed up his face. He couldn’t imagine what that was like, to keep yourself company without a dæmon. Perhaps he ought to ask Gimli, for if only he could work up the nerve Gimli would give him a straight answer.

“It seems sad, though,” he said. “I don’t like to think of you being all alone. I’d offer to lend you Windflower but I’m rather attached to her.”

With a wry smile, Gandalf tousled his hair. “Very droll,” he said. “Now, go to sleep.”

“I’m not tired,” said Pippin.

Raising one of his caterpillary eyebrows, Gandalf shot a look at Windflower, already snoozing in Pippin’s lap.

“Alright, I am tired,” said Pippin. “But I don’t want to go to sleep.”

“No?” said Gandalf.

Pippin drew Windflower fully into his arms, cuddling her soft body to his chest. “I’m scared,” he confessed. “And I can’t shake the thought that if anything bad happens to us in here it’ll be all my fault.”

“The whole company is scared,” said Gandalf. “No-one will blame you if something goes wrong. You meant no harm.”

Windflower had told him the same thing, three times since breakfast. Drawing his knees up to his chest, Pippin said, “that’s not what I’m afraid of.” He squeezed Windflower tighter. “I’m not brave enough or clever enough for this.”

“That isn’t true,” said Gandalf.

“Yes, it is, and everyone knows it,” said Pippin. “I shouldn’t be here. I just keep thinking how much I want to go home.”

“Pippin.” Gandalf laid a hand upon his shoulder. “Do you really think I would have persuaded Lord Elrond to let you join the company if I thought you’d be a mere liability?”

“No,” said Pippin.

“I think you should be here,” said Gandalf. “And I’m very rarely wrong about these matters.”

“I suppose.” In his arms Windflower stirred, nuzzling at his neck.

The others had settled. The only sounds were Boromir’s footsteps, the clicking of Faist’s claws on stone, and Pippin’s own breaths. “If you _did_ have a dæmon,” he said, “what do you think it would be?”

Gandalf hummed to himself. “A chicken.”

“Don’t be silly,” said Pippin.

“A hippopotamus,” said Gandalf, and despite everything Pippin laughed.

“I was being serious,” he said.

“Ask a silly question, get a silly answer,” said Gandalf.

“I don’t see how it’s a silly question,” said Pippin.

“Hobbits are _meant_ to have dæmons,” said Gandalf. “Men and Women are meant to have dæmons. Wizards are not.”

“If you say so,” said Pippin.

“I do say so,” said Gandalf. “Now, go and get some sleep. Windflower’s getting ahead of you.”

Raising her head from Pippin’s neck, Windflower yawned pointedly. “Alright,” said Pippin. “I’ll try. But I shall make no promises.” Gathering up Windflower in his arms, he climbed to his feet and picked his way through the sleeping company to join Merry.

**Author's Note:**

> Dæmons in this fic:
> 
>  **Pippin and Windflower:** unsettled.  
>  **Boromir and Nimbrethil ("Faist"):** [grey wolf](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gray_wolf#/media/File:European_grey_wolf_in_Prague_zoo.jpg).


End file.
